"He placed an envelope on the table."Please don't open it until after I leave, oh and there's this as well."He placed another, larger envelope on the table in front of my mother, who opened it nervously."I don't understand Arnold."Again he smiled."It's a cottage on the south coast, I bought it to live in last year, but I've never even spent one night in it, I'd like you to have it, it's got a huge rear garden, ideal for a budding market gardener and it overlooks the sea at the front."Another pause for breath, he really was struggling."You may have noticed there are the deeds to it, made out in two names, your's Polly and your's Thomas, all legally signed and witnessed, etc., etc., it's yours with no strings attached."I could see mum was getting a bit emotional, but none of it mattered to me, I didn't care one way or the other about the cottage or the money, all that mattered to me was that there was now no threat to us, then she dropped the bombshell."Arnold, I really don't know what. I've been very arrogant, very bad girl lately. I made you save my life twice. I wasted valuable time while you explained the error of my ways. Would you please spank me for doing that? I deserve it. I brought the Order cane with me so you could do it right". She knew I preferred the shorter cane and had brought that one.I asked, "Before you answer my next question, if you answer is smaller then what I expect I will give you what I expect plus the number you indicated. So that there is no cheating on my part I am going to write my number down". I went to my desk and wrote the number (25) down then I asked, "How many strokes do you think you should receive for this offense?"She thought about it a second and said, "320, Sir".I was so shocked I just about fell on the floor. I asked, "How did you come up with that number?" Sir, I figured that I should receive 1 stroke for every person on the Beverly that you saved that I endangered and at least 20 for endangering you. I figure I am.
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